Although my mom passed away 14 years ago she is still omnipresent in my life. I see her in my siblings and I see her in my children. I hope to see her in me. Especially as a mom. Its a high bar, believe me. I don’t think is all gauzy nostalgia. Its hard to find anything bad to say about my mom. She was Scottish cheap despite my dad wanting to buy her the world and she was a merciless Scrabble and card game competitor. That’s the worst I can say about her. And if you find this sort of thing objectionable, she was really short.
My mom was sweet. Sweet but smart. Patient but determined. Funny but not sarcastic. Cuddly, warm and as a bonus a great cook. An while I might have always known that my dad loved my mom best, I always knew that she had enough for all of us (we were a family of six kids!). So when I lose it with my kids and I yell or walk away because I don’t want to deal, I often think, God, Mom never did that, she never yelled or ignored us because we were unreasonable. She was there. Maybe quietly talking us off the ledge or saying nothing. No judgment or encouragement about this behavior. She just reassured by her presence and made us believe we could be good. She made us feel loved.
Something to aspire to.