Swearing in Argentina

This is a post about swearing.  Hence there will  be swear words.  If they are offensive to you, it’s probably not a good idea to read on.  You have been warned.

As passionate as Argentines are about food, wine, futbol and family they really come up short when it comes to swearing. After you have lived here for a minute and have had your first encounter with Argentine driving, a good swear word or more would be handy. The reality is that while there are some creative curse expressions that Argentines use, there are not  that many swear words in Castellano that a woman would use to blow off steam.

I do swear.  Its how I express myself when I am frustrated or am adding emphasis to an adjective.  I didn’t grow up swearing.  As kids we weren’t allow to swear at home. Although I heard my father on occasion let one loose.  I became  fluent in swearing from sitting on an uspstairs trading desk for 8 years.  Almost twenty years later, while I was able to kick a 1+ pack a day tobacco addiction, swearing is a habit that I haven’t even tried (or want) to kick.  I find the word fuck indispensable when I need to make my point.  It is a potent word in my arsenal that I try not to use around my kids.

There really is no comparable word to fuck in Castellano.  If you watch an English language movie with Spanish subtitles they pretty much use the word maldición (a curse on you) for every English swear word including the F word.  They of course do have some fun words that you might be familiar with like  puta (whore), mierda (shit) and pendejo(asshole). But none of these expressions are used by women and usually are bantered about in the context of drunk buddies or sport fanatics, not really as a verbal assault. Not that any of that is a bad thing, but give me something to say to the asshole who almost kills me on the road everyday.

What is the typical shout out to a bad driver?   ¿Qué paso viejo(a)?  What happened old man (woman)?  That flaccid remark is cutting here because everyone, especially women, are desperately doing whatever they can do so as not to  get old. Calling someone viejo is as low as you can go with the insults.  How boring and unsatisfying.  So with no real meaningful Spanish equivalent  I have resorted to using an embellished version of fuck (and hopefully silently if I have spawn in the car).  It’s just going to have to do.

Who is Lonny, by the way?

In the corner of the blogsphere known as Homedesignland there was a party yesterday.  It was a coming out party for a new on-line magazine called Lonny.  Its been a tough year for print media and an especially tough one in the world of “shelter” magazines.  So the launch of Lonny by several Domino alums had been anxiously anticipated by many.  Design blogs were all a twitter, literally, ewing and awing at every vignette and hyperventilating at the fact you could click on a product and immediately go to the e-commerce website for that item and buy it.  I wasn’t so impressed.  Some of my thoughts:

• I still find reading a design magazine on-line difficult.  I either need a bigger screen or they need to use a different size and proportion for their pages.  Its difficult to read the print without zooming and then you cant see what you are reading about.  I think this will always be a issue when you are digitally reading something that depends on a visual like design mags do.  And besides, I want to get into bed with these types of magazines and have the tactile experience of paging through the magazine with my head on my pillow.
• If you loved the late Domino (as they referred to it several times in the copy) you will love this new mag, its almost exactly the same visually.  It is not a problem, I was just expecting maybe a new spin.  But after Domino folded people were despondent over its end and I guess there are a lot of happy campers now.
• I would suggest they stay away from fashion.  It seemed like an afterthought and the clothes and the model were boring/bored.
• The photography was good, but you know I see great photography on home related blogs from self taught people every single day…good photography has become a commodity
• I am not sure how I feel about the click to buy feature.  I think of interior design mags as inspiration and not as a design by numbers tool.  I understanding its helpful to see sourcing info but again, I think it takes the creative process out of creating a home if you are slapping someone else’s template on your home.
• This is the thing the bugs me the most and I see it on blogs and I saw it yesterday in Lonny; styling rooms within a inch of their lives.  I bet if you looked at design mags from 10 years ago you would see more real spaces with furniture and paintings and objects that actually have meaning and belong to the people who inhabit the space.    Examples: Vintage bowling ball bag under nightstand in bedroom, tall pile of books on the floor (not good for bindings FYI), a frosty drink glass on an end table,  colored juice glasses lined up in the dish dryer on the counter waiting to be put away (the stylist couldn’t do that?)

I asked friend, who is a real life designer why this compulsion to set design for these pictorials? her answer:

… To be a stylist now is to offer your services pro bono and have absolutely no other way to fill out your day. Also–if you are a designer, photographer, or ex hooker sleeping with an ex hedgie, or if you have ever shopped don’t you think you could style your shoot?? It’s like hiring a specialist to bring flavored mouth washes to the dentist…

I am aware this is not a Lonny image but it epitomizes what I am saying, is this an art installation or someone's home?

With all that having been said, if I could get my hands on a glossy version of Lonny, I would gladly climb in bed with it.

Its not funny anymore

I think today the line has been crossed.  This isn’t about crazy ignorant people making a bunch of noise about something they don’t understand.  Today a journalist/analyst/douche (granted for a piece of shit media outlet) made the argument that a military coup would alleviate the “Obama” problem.  You can read it here.  This is a screen grab someone captured before NewsMax realized it had a firestorm on its hands and took it off its site.  Its bad enough that someone would think it, bad enough someone would write it and even more unbelievable that a pseudo legit news organization would think they could publish it without most thinking people feeling extremely uncomfortable with it.  I understand these thoughts and ideas are all protected by our freedom of speech (not God given you idiots, the Constitution, Duh) but when someone publishes the idea of undoing our democratic election in the name of democracy..I get concerned and wish for the good old days of the stoopids….

Smoking has its consequences

I feel like crap.  Just trying to hold it together until after tomorrow and then for sure I will  collapse and sleep 18 hours.  Tomorrow is Georgie’s birthday  and there are 25 little ones coming over for three hours tomorrow to be entertained.  Birthday parties for kids here deserves its own post, but not today, remember I am barely functioning.  But needless to say, there will be a giant inflatable jumpy thing and I will have several energetic young girls organizing games..its a sporty party.  But there is still a million little things to do.  Kids parties here includes alcohol and food for adults.  Fresh flowers, a blow dry and manicure are standard for the proud mother.  I am telling you, its work!

What does smoking have to do with any of this.  Smoking is why I feel bad.  Not the pack a day kind of smoking.  I gave that up almost 20 years ago.  Its cigar smoking.  On occasion I have been know to enjoy a Havanna.  Last Friday we had a cocktail party and since I am not a big drinker I focused my efforts on cigar smoking, which a lot of people seem to do here.  I smoked 2 large Havannas and numerous “woodies” or cigarette sized cigars.  I chained smoked cigars for 7 hours.  Not surprising I felt yuck the next morning, but that was almost a week ago and I still can feel it in my chest.  When I work out I feel like I am going to die.  I guess I am paying for stupidity and I am getting old.  But then again, I didn’t inhale tequila through my nose with a spoon.  And you know who you are…

I will try to get some good photos of the birthday girl, she is going to be 7!!!

A little birthday eve somethin’ for my big girl:

The Stoopids

I am not going to write much about this because it makes my head hurt thinking about what a royal waste of time it is even trying to engage these people in meaningful conversation.  My new strategy is to ignore them completely and maybe they will go away.  Or at the very least, have a good laugh at their expense. These photos are from yesterday’s big  9/12 Rally in Washington DC.  By any account this was a more significant turnout than the April 15 Tea Bagging Rallies, however there were considerably less than the 1.5 million some organizers were claiming.  When the DC Police released their estimates of the crowd at 50-60,ooo, the right claimed suppression of the real numbers by Obama.  God, I am so tired of the hysterics.  But again, let us find the irony and humor in their ignorance and stupidity.

This guy needs a refresher in basic math principles, dont believe "&" is a mathematical operation.

I would love for her to explain this one to me

I googled Obama/Small Pox/Vaccination, I got nothing, What does this guy know? Nice printing though.

And my personal favorite:

WTF is this suppose to mean? Babies dont give a shit about fiscal policy. Believe me I know, I had four of them, and none of them cared at all!

Insanity

There is no other way to put it.  The crazy train is packed with loons from the right.  They hate this president as much as my son hates taking a bath.  But instead of going somewhere and hiding to avoid contact with water, they are they squeakiest of the squeaky wheels.

I think we have come to a new low point in the “Obama is evil” dialogue.  I know its hard to imagine given the Marxist, Fascist, Socialist, pull anything out of my ass even if I don’t know what it means character assassination of Obama.  But in the last few day there is a growing movement by the right to organize a boycott of a speech by Obama that would be broadcast to kids in school.  The topic? The very controversial topic of the importance of staying in school.  Once again disregarding facts and the historical context, (Reagan, Bush I and Bush II all gave student addresses) the right is pushing the story that this is yet another instance of Obama trying to brainwash our children with his radical plot to turn the United States of America into a Orwellian nightmare.  So there are people out their threatening to keep their kids out of school, and there are school districts supporting this.  All in the name of protecting them from having to hear things like:  Stay in school, study hard, take some personal responsibility, evolve with technology and other horrible ideas.  Here is a good piece  by Michelle Cottle at TNR that sums it all up.

I believe there are real, substantive issues for all of us to challenge Obama on, but these guys are not motivated by anything substantive, they hate Obama, probably because he is black.  It doesn’t really matter why they hate him because whatever it is its all about fear, not his policies.  Its a maturity issue and we are dealing with children.  They are whiny kids that need to grow up and get over the disappointment that the world has moved on without them.

Here is another doozie…they make it so easy.

I think we might have hit the crazy ceiling

Perfect for Wallpaper!

Well Sarah and Michelle are working overtime this vacation.  Tag teaming Obama on the “Death Panel”.  Funny cant seem to find anything about the “Death Panel” in  reputable sources dealing with the Health Care legislation and proposals that are be discussed right now.  I guess if you are good at putting on makeup you are good at telling a “story”.  After setting up the FEMA concentration camps, Obama will be busy with Orwellian death panels who will decide who lives and who dies, who mates with who and how much soma you get to have….

As much as I hate and cringe at all the crazy talk and behavior by Obama haters, I think (hope) that we have reached that point we did during the general election where even doubters or people that have legitimate concerns about Obama’s policies are and stepping back and disassociating themselves from the fray hoping for cooler heads to prevail and another opportunity to have a grown up discussion. Its like watching a spectator sport.  Lets hope for a quick decision.

Almost as loco as the euthanasia of Trig Palin by Obama is the talk of a Palin/Bachmann 2012 ticket.  Its kind of humorous to imagine, especially the debates..hahahahahaha  But then again it would be a sad day in America if these women where in serious contention for the executive branch.

Off Skiing

One of my favorite photos of all time taken in 2005 at Chapleco Ski Center located in northern Patagonia in Argentina. You think Owen needs a haircut? Neglect of my children manifests itself in long stretches of time between haircuts. You know its bad when a boy is asking, begging for a haircut, or even worst when teachers suggest it in a written note...

While it may be a ski vacation for the family, the next ten days for me will be full of dressing children, finding missing essentials pieces of equipment and outer clothing, picking up and dropping of kids at various classes and watching them swim in a stinky indoor pool.  The highlights for me will be freezing my ass off on a longer than should be ski lift ride sneaking in a few pages of a book.

Jefferson Beauregard Sessions III, you have been pwnd!

Here he is getting pwnd.

And here just being an asshat.

These guys really are a endless well of hilarity.  Got to love em.  I am streaming the hearings.  There is nothing to in BA since everyone is staying at home except for important stuff like shopping for food and apparently for me, getting your hair colored.

I find the hearings fascinating.  The rules of order make it seem almost campy plus there is so much bullshit and double talk it is really great theater.  I am sick I know but I must admit when I was 11 years old, I watched the Watergate Hearings on TV.  It was the Spring/Summer 1973 and we had just moved from San Francisco to suburban Cleveland (it wasn’t that bad, really).  I spent quite a few days during the summer of 1973 watching some of the 319 hours of  television that made up those hearings.  I remember that the three main networks (NBC, ABC and CBS) took turns broadcasting the hearings every three days. That way they didn’t interrupt the soap opera schedule too much.   If you missed it during the day you could watch it on PBS at night which I did sometimes with my mom and dad. (Loser)

What I didn’t remember,  until I read this, was that exactly a year passed between the time those hearings ended in August 1973 and when Nixon resigned in August 1974, just as the Senate was set to impeach him.  I don’t remember many details.  I was aware that John Mitchell, the Attorney General, had a nutty wife.  Nixon’s secretary had some technical issues with tape recordings.  There was a articulate and passionate priest/congressman that my dad really liked. Senator Sam Ervin had a great voice. And when John Dean testified everyone watched.  I probably saw that twice.

Funny but sick

Yesterday I had my biggest day ever as far as hits go. And it was not the McLinky thing. That thing had over a thousand entries that made it too big to display all the websites. That was pretty much a bust. No what made it a big day at Political Exile was a surge in people googling “what does Michael Jackson look like dead”. When you Google that, I appear on the first page at the bottom with my blog entry “it looks like Michael Jackson is dead” which I wrote in real time when the news was trying to figure out what was going on at the hospital a week ago last.

It begs to ask, why yesterday, did people start to wonder “what does Michael Jackson looks like dead”? Even more curiously, what did they expect to find? Photos from the coroner? Photos from the hospital staff from their cell phones? And even stranger is why do they want to see him dead? Just plain weird.

What the hell is going on?

There are news cycles when stories just telescope on each other and things get weirder and wilder.  The last few weeks have been like that, so action packed with political revolutions, coups, a slew of celebrity deaths including one super icon and another, regular icon, and then for dessert you get an extremely large serving of inept republicans bordering on bizarro world.  Its enough to make your head spin and while exciting, as a voracious news consumer, its exhausting, and I am watching/listening to  a Yankees baseball game almost everyday too! Not to mention, as well, several meals a day for the childrens.

So I was looking forward to the weekend when not only is there generally less content but its the weekend for God’s sake and a long weekend in the States.  Since I am living in Argentina, and the one Fourth of July celebration that was happening in BA was canceled because of the swine flu (another post), I don’t have picnic and parades to keeping me off the internets… Sarah Palin resigned!

What is it about Sarah Palin people  see her as a viable political leader?  I just don’t get it.  When she opens her mouth its beauty pageant Q&A..no substance AT ALL….  I see her personal story compelling and soap opera like at times so I get the media’s interest in her, but how does that translate to a politician with policy credentials.  I think our society is getting dangerously close to equating a telephotogenic person with a buzz,  as a leader.   OK, sounds a bit like Obama.  But please, he has cred, street and policy.  He did not need to be jacked up by some Eliza Doolittle operation to make him substantial.  I think that’s what we are looking at here.  I think Bill Kristol needed a job and now he has one as Henry Higgins.  This would all be so delicious if it wasn’t so frickin scary.

Paul Begala, me hearts him, wrote a piece that nails it.   I love reading him because he witty without being satire.  This is a solid opinion editorial that understands the historical and political context of what he writes.  Excellent and Funny.

Here is a thoughtful and measured  piece by a student on the ground in Tehran, while clearly depressed about the lull in participation by the masses, clearly this isnt over.

Bob Herbert  wrote this interesting op-ed about how Michael Jackson’s weird reality is analogous to our culture’s inability deal with society’s real problems head on.

And finally, the Yankee’s play of the week, chosen, by Owen, the O’Connell Family’s MLB expert and archivist of all obscure baseball stats.

My head is pounding

I am the mother of four and I have slogged through many a Disney extravaganza.  Be it a princess or digitally animated  movie, I have seen them all at least twice thanks to video.  These days we have graduated to HSM1,2,3 and Teen Band flicks for Georgi and non-stop action flicks that are more like a video games than cinema for the boys.

The kids are home for their winter break.  Most of their friends go back to their home country for the holiday so things are pretty quiet in the burbs of BA these days.  Took the boys with friends to the mall for a Hoyts Cine viewing of Transformers.  I have always said the movie theater is “too dark to read  and too loud to sleep”.  I gave them both a shot at this total waste of space.  What a horrible movie.  I like an action movie as much as any girl can, for instance, I liked the movie “the Rock” with Nicolas Cage and Sean Connery.  It was entertaining and funny and exciting to watch.  This move was the opposite of that, it was stupid and I don’t know why they bothered with actors (I know why there is the hot chick) but its all about the ginormous robots fighting and I had no clue who was the the good robot and who was the bad robot.  The story was non existent.  And it was REALLY loud.  So I put on my Ipod earphones and some space music loud enough to drown out the Armageddon that was taking place on the screen.  I brought a book and started reading it using the backlight from the Ipod.  I got a few pages read but found all the action happening in front of my eyes too intense for me to ignore.  So I closed my eyes and tried to forget where I was.  I can’t say I slept, but I definitively didn’t watch the movie. Unfortunately, it was a two and a half hour long movie.

So I have a killer headache atributable to the sucky movie, the 5 boys I was in charge of,  and the kilo bag of peanut M&M’s I ate.  OK, that’s hyperbole, it wasnt that big.

I just met a girl named Maria

I don’t know why this story cracks me up so much.  I am sure it is not so funny to his wife and four beautiful boys.  I am not feeling so bad for Governor Mark Sanford though.  What a monster of a hypocrite he has turned out to be.   He was a vocal part of the lynch mob that was demanding Clinton to resign during the Lewinsky blow job.  He is also part of the political party that for the last 30 years has been trying to impose their “family values” on me and my friends.  The GOP demise is a gift that keeps on giving.  I am just waiting for Rove to get his.

These personal emails between him and his “exotic” Argentine honey, that are making the rounds, were even too much for me to read.   Its a little too voyeuristic and Reality TV Show for me.

Twitter is good for sumpin’

I don’t use Twitter, I barely use my Facebook, and I just don’t have enough time to add another thing in my life taking up space and making me feel guilty due to neglect.  Plus I don’t have a fancy PDA, Blackberry or IPhone..while they do exist in Argentina, I certainly don’t need one here where there isn’t any urgency for anything.

But I do see the value in Twitter on a more global nature.  As it has been reported, Twitter has been instrumental in organizing the protests in Iran as well as being the source of what little information and news that is able to leave Iran.  Yeah for technology helping the march to global democracy.

The other thing that Twitter acheived is accelerating  the demise of the Republican Party.  Who thought it was a good idea for a bunch of middle aged white men to spout off text messages whining about the President’s work ethic for the whole world to see?  It makes me believe that they didn’t even understand what it was they were dealing with.  The best though was GOP legislators making the analogy between the plight of the Iranian Protests and the GOP Minority.   This is hysterical. It did take long for someone to take this infinite well of hilarity and dedicate a blog to it here.

UPDATED: The Argentine Mullet

I wrote this post years ago (literally). Its is my most viewed post and just yesterday it got over 40 hits, weird…So I thought I would take a look at it again and I was sorry to see that the link to some great mullet photos was no longer active.  I found a new one that is hysterical here.  I am happy to report that the mullet is on the wane here, unfortunately it has been replaced by the equally unattractive thick heavy bangs with long hair.  Especially not pretty when sported by a 60+ year old, with leather skin, surgically modified features and a cigarette.  Muy elegante y classy!

Not your typical Argentine beauty

the Oprah/Pam Anderson Of Argentina

Original Post from 2004

I am a forty- something year old woman of average build. While in the recent past I have been much smaller and bigger (four kids), now I feel like I am at a good weight for me and while keeping toned is a constant battle, I am pretty happy with my body.

Or was happy, until I moved to Argentina. It didn’t take more than a few days for it to become apparent to me that I was living in a country of women who are genetically predisposed to long thin legs, tight and high butts and concave stomachs. Apparently eating disorders run rampant here, but that cant explain away the fact that the standard deviation of body types is pretty narrow, literally. Woman generally look great in clothes, lots of low slung pants, little t-shirts and almost always a FM heel. This is a Latin country and the pressure on a woman to appear young and sexy is palpable. Between this genetic gift, an active lifestyle, high protein diet and plastic surgery that your medical insurance covers, women manage to hold it together pretty well. It can be frightening though, when at the gym I see women from the back, tanned, skin tight workout clothes and the long blond ponytail but when you get a frontal shot it is a 60-70ish women that has spent A LOT of time tanning. Not a good look, a haircut and a hat would do wonders.

Speaking of long blond ponytails…..Almost all woman here have long hair. I think that is a very Latin thing. Lots of girls have really beautiful thick dark hair. There are also quiet a few that have very thick and fried orange hair and hair extensions are big here. In theory hair extensions would be a great thing. I might even consider them for fun if I wasn’t constantly finding chunks of hair randomly on the ground but most often on the floor of the gym and sometimes stuck to gym equipment, thanks to sweat. It’s truly FOUL!!!!!

While not having the gag factor of hair extensions an equally disturbing hair trend here is the mullet. A mullet is normally reserved for middle-north American (Canada is equally adept at the mullet), blue collar dudes. However the Argentine girls have embraced the look and are calling it their own. For those who have no idea what a mullet is I just don’t think I have the vocabulary or language skills to properly describe it here. Therefore, I am going to suggest a visit to http://www.geocities.com/SoHo/Studios/9195/mullets.html.

My point is that its really unfortunate that these beautiful girls who derive such societal power from their looks would set themselves back at least the 5 or 6 months it will take to grow out all evidence of this heinous hairdo.

Need a[sic] Asian wife?

The above was the reference line on a Spam I received today.  I didn’t bother to open it and find out what they were selling but I was curious about the wording.  Bad grammar aside, what does “need an Asian wife?” mean.  Wouldn’t be better or at least less desperate and crude to say “Want” or “Desire” a wife…needing a wife sounds like you are shopping for a power tool for a carpentry project.

Souvenir Shopping, Paraguay Style

Paraguay isn’t known as a tourist destination. However that being said, friends from Paraguay assure me its a beautiful country with really nice relaxed people.  Despite their endorsement, it is known as a land of exiled dictators, gun runners, possibly Al-Qaeda training camps and other sorrid, unregulated and tolerated  illegal activities.  So it would only follow that the  democratically elected president of Paraguay,  Fernando Lugo, is the former Archbishop (he left his orders) of Paraguay,  has just admitted to being the father of at least one of the several children several teenage girls are claiming he had  fathered during his priest days.  No impeachment here, just business as usual.  I think the thing that gets me about this story is that in this Latin American, prominently Catholic country, no one seems to care or believes anything should be done about it, but in the United  States, we impeached a president for basically having a blow job by another adult.  What is up with sex  and the American (as in USofA) culture?   I digress.

Anywhoo, Paraguay is a bit of a cowboy state, the perfect location for a boy’s long weekend.  My husband and two friends went to Paraguay for a despedida ( goodbye party) for one of the said friends, who after 5 years of trying to impose transparent business practices on unwilling Argentines,  is returning to the safe and predictable life of living in Norway.

So the idea was to go and get in trouble, but not so much trouble that they miss their return flight on Sunday afternoon.  The weekend starts with a 4 hour flight delay because a Paraguayan club futbol team gets hung up in BA and the plane waits.  This really pisses off my husband who has never been able to embrace the Latina concept of time and scheduling.  They arrive in Ascunsion at 5 in the morning and hit the ground running.  There is some discussion about  trying to find the colony Nueva Germania which was established by  Fredrich Nietzsche’s rabidly anti-Semitic sister and husband.   It is this point that details are sketchy and the narrative gets lost.  Good thing there are some artifacts to fill in the blanks.

You lost and are lost

Goposaur..see the elephant coming out of its ass

It really is all about being a really shitty loser.  These guys just cant believe it.  It happens.  God knows it has happen to me enough in my life time.  I lived through Nixon, Reagan, (who at the time seemed reactionary, now seems almost moderate) Poppy Bush (who at least wasn’t an idealogue) and then W and you can read lots here how I felt about HIM.  But in all my discouragement and disappointment I never thought about overthrowing the democratically elected government. (although a debatable fact in the last two presidential elections)  I never called Bush a Nazi or a plant for radical Islam.  I never bought into all the various conspiracy theories that abounded during W’s presidency.  I just kept informed, put the pressure on my legislators and supported the candidates that would bring us back from the brink.  I won.  You lost.  You have a choice.  You can make the best of the situation that is not going to change until 2010.  Or continue to say really stupid things about democrats being monarchists or fascists.  Actually, why don’t you spend the next few years brushing up on world history and and use a dictionary for the words you don’t understand.

Sorry for being so condescending, but what else am I suppose to think when hear drivel like this:

An earnest progressive dialogue

I dont know whats up with the video embed so here is a link to TDS segment, sorry

Here is another link to click for a very funny video

Lost in Translation

This is a photo from last year’s Halloween parade at the kid’s school.  This spectacular costume is being worn by a 7 year old.  While this child is totally fluent in English, clearly the parents aren’t.  It happens.  Only the  native English speaking people over 13 years old were stunned by the reference to oral sex.    What I still don’t understand is why this came in a child’s size.

My dog likes rocks

We have two dogs: a four year old German Shepherd and her 6 month old son. Osa and Tevez. Osa means bear and she looked like a little one (Osita) when she became part of our life. Tevez is a more unorthodox name for a pet here in Argentine in that his namesake is a villa boy done good making his way to playing for Manchester United. Most people name their pets after animals (Osa, Zorro etc) or descriptive words (Morocho-dark, Flaco-skinny), usually not human names and never scrappy futbol players. Our Argentine friends give us weird looks when we tell them his name. While Tevez maybe be sweet and not so intellectual like his namesake, he does not have any of the ball aptitude of Carlito Tevez or for that matter his mother, Osa.

Osita is a compulsive retriever. She would do this all day if she could find some one to indulge her. I am pretty sure she likes chasing flying objects more than food, water and human companionship. If a ball is not available she will find a rock (any size rock will do, even potentially jaw breaking ones). She loves to have the rock thrown into the river or pond where she will expertly swim to the approximate location of the entry point of the object and dive (not unlike a bear diving for salmon) and retrieve a rock. I don’t know if she realizes it is usually not the same one. If balls and rocks are not available, sticks, also of any size (anywhere between 3 cm to 3 meters), will do. If we are somewhere she can’t find any of the above, dirt clogs, fruit off a tree or burrs will do. We are all pretty good at ignoring her despite her begging. Soon after scaring the shit out of any stranger that comes near the house with vicious and insistent barking, she realizes this is a perfect foil for her game. In desperation she has been know to present balls or rocks at the feet of the horses, apparently not realizing they are even stupider than she is.